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Today marked 12 years since my father left this world... I still can't believe that he's gone... June 20, 1995 is clear to me as the day it happened...30,000 Music Video Codes MySpace Layouts
* me running late for work that morning and debating if i should answer the phone when it rang shortly after 8 that morning --- it was my mom telling me that something terrible had happened... Dad was on the way to the hospital - and he was giving everyone a hard time about going to Alameda Hospital instead of Kaiser - closer to home... he'd told my Uncle to tell my mom that he'd see her after they ran some tests...
* i remember the drive to Alameda Hospital with my mom in the front seat, gripping her bottled water rambling about how she was going to be so strict with him - and that he better be ok...
* i remember arriving at the hospital shortly after 10am - Lena and Uncle Errol were standing there... sobbing... the doctor had said he had only a 2-10% chance of surviving the massive heart attack...
* i remember seeing him laying on the table, intubated but not connected to any other apparatus... to hearing Uncle Errol say in his shaky voice "has he... expired?" (you could tell he didn't want to ask if he'd passed away or if he had died) -- and that horrible, shreiking scream that my mom yelled out... and the sobs that followed...
* i remember immediately going to Sorenson Mortuary not more than an hour later with Uncle Errol and Uncle Cesar... picking out his casket... his final resting place... and choosing the services for those of us left behind to say "goodbye."
* i don't exactly remember who came over or what they said to me after that... i just remember the sobs and the hugs and listening to so many stories from everyone - and how they all felt so strongly about sharing with us about how much Dad had meant to them... and how he had rescued them or helped them or just supported them at different times in their lives...
Daddy, you are missed... I wish you could've been there to walk me down the aisle or for us to do our cha-cha at my wedding to our song ("I Just Called to Say I Love You")... It is still so hard for me to know that my kids will never get to know you... and that you won't get to experience the joy of grandparenting such loving children...
I know you're looking down on us, and that you're taking care of us from up above... so many times, I've felt your presence and know that good luck has happened for us at your hand... things that were just too good to happen without a little help from a higher power...
Thank you for all you've been to us... and for all you've given to us... I just pray that we gave you even half as much in your lifetime... somehow, I do think that you had a satisfying life... despite how short it was.
"I just called to say I love you..."
"Hero"
"Dance with my Father"
These songs always make me think of you...
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